Apart from The Heart

Distance makes the heart grow fonder, which is especially true for Valentine’s Day. It is a wonderous thing to be with the one you love. And Saint Valentine was persecuted, endeavouring to maintain a pagan right of choice and the union of loving partnership.

There are innumerable factors why couples may find themselves alone on Valentine’s Day. Couples for example who are in a long distance relationship, an unscheduled business trip popping up, shift work -preventing couples from being together or an unexpected sickness, maybe a family emergency. These are just a few examples of reasons why couples may find themselves apart during Valentine’s Day.

While it’s easy to understand the reasons why you and your partner cannot be together on Valentine’s Day, it does not make it any easier to accept, does it? Naturally it’s not the be all and end all but you could find yourself feeling a little out of sorts and booting the dog – just joking Rover boy!

However, there is hope for those who are spending Valentine’s Day apart from their sole mates or loved ones. To be sure there are a few ways for making the day a lot more fun (some I won’t cover). So, here splashed about are some ways to celebrate Valentine’s apart – using the most common situations of why partners are absent.

First up are couples who are in a long distance relationship. For these campers, they’re probably already used to spending important days such as Valentine’s Day, anniversaries and other holidays apart, so not a problem really. Nevertheless, there are ways this couple can still spice up their celebration of Valentine’s Day together. Let’s see… both renting the same movie is a cute idea, with the mobile to hand they can “virtually speaking” watch the movie together. We won’t talk about the phone bill here, can’t be too cheap skate – anyway these days the special family tariffs give unlimited connections for peanuts so it’s possible the couple can chat away on their cell phones ad infinitum, all the while they’re watching the movie together. Also ordering in the same type of food, such as pizza or Chinese, may give the evening even more of a familiar spin – a feeling of togetherness for a little while.

Next let’s dip into the unfortunates who find them selves spending Valentine’s Day apart due to an unexpected business trip. Mmm… not great, particularly difficult since the couple is not used to being apart on important days and most likely don’t have a great deal of time to prepare for spending the holiday apart. Discussion first and foremost about Valentine’s Day, really as soon as they realize they are going to be spending the holiday apart. Essentially deciding if and when to set a side a time to celebrate: before they separate or after they’re back together, snug as a bug in a rug. Of course it’s important for the couple to try to at least have some contact on Valentine’s Day even if it is over the phone, email or web cam. This at least may give a sense of being together; the idea is not to feel too distant or apart.
Having flowers or a special message delivered to your partner while you are separated are oldies but goodies and a great gesture of caring.

Concluding this small applet, there are those who cannot spend Valentine’s Day together because one or both of them have work which involves odd shifts. This could include doctors, fire-fighters, police officers or a variety of other professions. Individuals in this type of situation have to generally accommodate and adjusted to their odd schedule and make time to be together outside of working hours. In this case the best way to deal with being apart on Valentine’s Day is to plan on celebrating together when it is more convenient. This may not seem like the most romantic option but sometimes it is important to remember that you love your partner every day of the year and you don’t have to be together on Valentine’s Day to prove your love for each other.

Are You Getting Cheated – Try This Quiz

So you think that your partner might be cheating you? Why do you think that? Why not try this small quiz and find out the truth? A quiz is always very helpful in finding the truth. The quiz questions are simple such as- Does your partner not love you? Does he/she not share the expenses? Do they look at others and try to give flirting signs even if they are with you? Are they keeping relations with their ex even now? Or is it just a felling that you are being cheated either physically or emotionally? Let us take this quiz and find the truth.

Quiz sixth sense-

Many times, the feeling that we are being cheated is itself an evidence of something going wrong. Our sixth sense tells us that. Our conscious mind may fail to take the hints but the subconscious will do. So while taking this quiz don’t ignore the inner signals.

Quiz cheating patterns-

Did you find your partner talking to somebody on phone and then disconnect the phone as soon as they saw you? Is your partner wary of sharing the mail password with you? Are you finding that their cell phone bills are more than normal? Do they go out without informing you and make some excuse when you ask? Are any outside business trips involved? What about late work at the office? Or unscheduled work related meetings? Do they look at you eye to eye while talking? Or avoid talking and walk around while talking? Do you hear telephone bell and when you pick up the phone, line goes dead?

Quiz and get the truth-

These are some of the signs that something might be wrong? Not necessarily cheating. Why not quiz your partner and find the truth? Quizzing point by point will surely tell you the truth.

Are You Being Disrespected By Your Mate?

There is a trap that many of us fall into because for the most part girls are socialized to be sweet, accommodating, passive, well-mannered etc. When we grow up and get into relationships, many of us don’t really know what to do in response to disrespect.

It’s a little like we’re frozen. Shocked. Disappointed. Now What? Well, there is a % of women who will not put up with any form of disrespect in their relationships. One incident and they bail. Probably a good idea.

But then there is the rest of us – who either get temporarily outraged or upset, but like a bitter pill – we swallow it and move on. This is NOT a good idea.
No matter how many partners you may meet in your lifetime, there should always be at least one requirement – that you are treated with respect from day one until the end.

Look for areas of respect when…

1. You are intimate. He should respect your likes and dislikes.

2.You are talking to each other. He shouldn’t speak to you like an angry dad or like you’re an idiot.

3. You are arguing. Even in the heat of battle, you shouldn’t be disrespected. If it gets that heated – someone should walk away.

4. He is around your friends and family. If he doesn’t treat your friends/family with respect, then he doesn’t respect you. They are an extension of you.

5. You are ending it. Even if the relationship is over and there are hurt feelings – he should have enough respect for what you did share to end it or accept the end with class.

Quick Tip: You teach others the amount of respect they will pay you. Even your worst enemy will respect you if you demand it. Demand what you are worth everyday.

Alone, Who Are You?

Relationships generally begin when both people are in the “Alone Stage,” although I am aware that often affairs begin when one or both partners are involved with someone else. It is my contention that relationships have a greater chance of success when both parties have spent some time alone and unconnected with a lover.

What does a person do with this time alone? If you are interested in creating the relationship you deserve, then you must become the best person you can be. Each successive relationship we engage in provides us with lessons and information we need to reflect upon. If we are attracting the “wrong” people into our lives, then perhaps it is because we are not the person we need to be in order to create a relationship with the person of our dreams.

This also means that each “wrong” person we attract into our lives is exactly the right person we need to teach us the lesson we need to get to move closer to the person we truly want. This is why I never look back at any relationships I have had with regret. Maybe not in the moment, but over time, I have come to understand that I learned valuable lessons in each of my past relationships and I grew, which then helped me become a better person.

Whenever we find ourselves in between relationships, it is not a time to longingly wish for the next partner to arrive. It is not the time to go out “prowling” for the next person to make you complete. The time between relationships is a very important healing time. It is a time to look back on the past relationship to discover what that person was there to teach you about life, love and yourself. It’s a time of introspection to determine who you want to be in a relationship. I’m not talking about playing roles but I am talking about a genuine transformation of yourself into the person who deserves the relationship you seek.

No one dreams their entire life about meeting a mediocre partner—someone who thinks of them sometimes, who loves them a little and takes care of some of their needs. No one looks to get involved in relationships with people who lie, cheat and disrespect them. No one asks for verbal or physical abuse in a relationship. So how can we break the pattern of choosing the same type of person over and over again? I believe the key is to look at each relationship as the perfect relationship you needed at that point in time and then go about attempting to figure out what it was about the person that made him or her perfect for you during that period in your life.

Once you figure this out, you will have learned a valuable lesson. If you take that lesson and put it to use in your life, then you have one half of the equation.

The other half is about preparing yourself to be the kind of person who will attract the relationship of your dreams. If you are seeking a person to be loyal and to stand by you no matter what, then ask yourself the difficult question of whether or not you have those same traits and characteristics you seek. If there is something in your character that has caused you to be disloyal, then do some introspection to learn what you need to heal in order to become the person you truly want to be.

Relationships only act as a mirror, showing us those things about ourselves we don’t want to see. When we welcome the information and seek to learn from it, doing so will move us closer in the direction of becoming who we want to be.

It also helps during this alone time to take an inventory of the traits, qualities and characteristics we want in our “perfect mate.” It is far more likely that we will attract the person we want when we become crystal clear about exactly what we are looking for. My list included having someone to love me for who I am, not in spite of who I am. I wanted a partner with loyalty, integrity, honesty, good looks, intelligence, a sense of humor, romance and availability (not involved with someone else). I wanted a man who was strong but gentle, decisive but sensitive and confident without being conceited. I wanted someone with whom I shared common interests and someone who didn’t feel the need to control me or compete with me. Guess what? After I was clear about what I was looking for, the “perfect” person for me walked into my life.

Another thing I find extremely helpful during the “Along Stage” is to remember that you are perfect just the way you are. You are totally complete without a significant person to share your life. So often, in the Along Stage, we are focusing on our lack, instead of our abundance. We look at the one thing we don’t have, a romance, and waste the time we have been given feeling sorry for ourselves instead of putting the gift of time to use for the betterment of mankind in our own unique way.

In conclusion I say, first allow yourself alone time. Don’t be in such a hurry to jump into the next relationship before processing the last one. Take time to analyze the lesson in your past relationship(s). Use the alone time to search introspectively to assess whether or not you are the person you need to be to allow the person you seek to come into your life. And finally, focus not on your lack of relationship, but rather on what you can do to help others during this time.

Used wisely, your alone time can truly make an incredible difference in the way you experience your next relationship. Don’t short change yourself. Maximize and leverage the time you have been given between relationships. It is truly a gift.